Last Updated on 9 months by William
Alright dear reader, welcome to the first episode in our relationship status series. This article will be examining the different dimensions of singlehood and how it applies to our daily living.
Being single means ‘unattached’ or ‘not in any relationship, either married or dating’ according to the layman’s definition. However, singlehood goes far beyond this and means more thaw we ever thought it would. When the inspiration came to me, I was also surprised that what I had taken for granted for so long meant more than I thought it did. Thus, in sharing my insights with you, I would be exploring how this term means many things, hoping that you would find where you fit in as you read on.
Finding an individual you connect with easily is one great key to having a long-lasting relationship.
There are two categories of single people. Generally, we have single and not-searching, as well as those who are single and searching.
Single and not-searching
Many go through life without a purpose and reason for living. Often, these set of individuals are only concerned with going through the motions with no thought given to the possibility of a bigger picture for living. To some, life is meant for enjoyment, to be made the most of however one can and leave the rest for others to do. Many have not grasped the fact that there is a much greater purpose to be lived out than just occupying space on the earth. Some perhaps, know this but remain contented in their monotonous lifestyle. These people are single yet not searching.
To be single and not searching, means to be unattached to any purpose and reason for living. Not just that, to have no interest in finding out the possibility of living for something bigger than oneself. The great danger of this category is that one is like the turtle, at ease in one’s shell. Being unattached to any purpose might seem like the easiest path to take at first. However, such people would have to be contented with watching life pass them by while their chances of making an impact go along with it.
Single and searching
For this second category of people, They have identified that they have been going through the motions with no definite reason or purpose attached to their existence. Too often they have let many days pass without any impact made. However, having recognized their singlehood, they are not willing to remain in this state forever. They have begun searching.
In the search for purpose, many significant factors must be considered. Just like in the search for a human life-partner, the subject of the search for purpose entails critical diligence and the employment of both the heart and the brain in this search.
Some of the factors to consider include:
1) What do you connect with easily?
The reason many are frustrated with their jobs and other tasks they do to try to make a living is that they most times are doing something they do not connect with easily. With no passion and drive for it, their mechanical attempt to keep at doing something they do not associate with only ends up in frustration. The same goes for human relationships. Finding an individual you connect with easily is one great key to having a long-lasting relationship. Emotions can only go so far in achieving a purpose. When the storms hit, grit is what will keep you at it.
2) How much time am I willing to invest in this?
Sometimes, the realization that their biological clock seems to be ticking with no life-partner found leads many people into making wrong decisions. Thus, such relationships end after a few years, and those that continue are tinged with frustration and lack of fulfilment. Do not be in a hurry to start something you cannot finish. Do not try to cover up for the lost time by picking up a ‘big’ project all in a bid to impress the world.
Am I against dreaming big?
Of course not. I believe that if all the things I ever dreamt about came to pass, this world would have been very different from how we know it. My imagination runs a thousand miles wide almost every moment. However, I am not in a hurry to be the next big thing or fill up someone else’s shoes. I rather like my boots if you ask me. They are a perfect fit for me. And that’s the same way it should be with your purpose.
Your purpose must be the perfect fit for you. Not for anyone, or the society or your friends, but you. Do not try to get a small size that’s smaller than your capacity, or a shoe much bigger than your lovely fit. The small size would cause blisters, and it would be impossible to walk in a big pair without filling it up with tissues or cloth.
Examine yourself to find what you connect with and go for it all the way. Singlehood is not fun. Living for purpose is much more exciting. So, why don’t you leave the cocoon of being single and unattached to being single and searching? And if you’ve been following my earlier series, you know you need that cup of coffee (or whatever drink you prefer) with your journal and a pen, coupled with a quiet space to think.
Welcome to the world of relationships.